damn been a long week just tie me up or whatever
damn been a long week just tie me up or whatever
2022-05-26 00:40:43 +0000 UTC View Post
lauraperlongo posts
late night version of this is so chaotic 😂 yeah so this we..
late night version of this is so chaotic 😂
yeah so this week we ignoring news events entirely and just going straight to complaining about the usuals…illness, allergies and lopsided boobs. Oh and book ur summer air b&bs. Also fractions. Practice math. Live a little why not.
No intentional nudes* ♥️
today we’re watering plants and talking about… post-vacatio..
today we’re watering plants and talking about…
post-vacation blues
allergies
hoe shit
undiscussed…
my stolen ebike battery
why sun dried tomatoes ruin everything
the Virginia judicial system
microplastics
the new emojis
have a great week everybody! 🫣🫶
What a day to be alive 🌱 I hope you’re out falling in love ..
What a day to be alive 🌱
I hope you’re out falling in love somewhere 😊
our neighbor gave us a piano but i quit piano when i was 8 s..
our neighbor gave us a piano but i quit piano when i was 8 soooooo here we are? 😂
2022-04-14 01:12:12 +0000 UTC View Post
ok i hear youUuu. Haha MORE CONTENT COMING 🦮 I wanna to do..
ok i hear youUuu. Haha
MORE CONTENT COMING 🦮
I wanna to do a new weekly series tho, u right u right. The weekly belly progressions were fun. Let’s do a busy mom version of that?
Pajama short plant watering content? We down with it? too real? 🙈 do we like that? low key. Asmr. livestream? Wednesday mornings? Or just post the video? Tell me what you want me to riff on via DM for next week. Watch at your leisure? Idk I’ll do some polls.
mom life maaaaaan 🌪☕️🌪
sti...
ok everyone … with a heavy heart the time has come to bid ad..
ok everyone … with a heavy heart the time has come to bid adeiu to my Only Fans. I’ve had a great time getting to know everyone and will cherish the memories we’ve made together forever. Thank you for being here to support and encourage me during such a delicate time in my life. You’ve helped me overcome my fears and embrace my whole body and self in a way I’ve never thought possible. Thank you thank you thank you.
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April Fools!...
baby obviously prefers the right 😂 you?
baby obviously prefers the right 😂
you?
photographer had to reschedule but I already did my cat eye...
photographer had to reschedule but I already did my cat eye. It’s cool tho I’m fine she’s fine…
😭😭😭
omg HI it’s been a real mr.toad’s wild ride kinda couple wee..
omg HI it’s been a real mr.toad’s wild ride kinda couple weeks but I’m hereeee.
Updates:
baby sleeping through night ✔️
spring in New York has sprung ✔️
I’m back writing for stuff that isn’t social media related ✔️✔️💀😂
I almost feel alive again ✔️✔️✔️✔️
key word ALMoST*
Not that I feel dead after I have a baby. I love the haze. It’s like I’m seeing the world through strawberry jello? Pudding? Yes dragging my body through trifle. ...
cocktail sauce or nah? Also, do you hate when someone pree..
cocktail sauce or nah?
Also, do you hate when someone preemptively lemons the whole tray? I hate it. Keep your juice on your own oyster (unless instructed otherwise, of course)
8 weeks!!! jk jk jk can u imagine? Nahhh just 4 1/2 months ..
8 weeks!!!
jk jk jk can u imagine? Nahhh just 4 1/2 months postpartum with a moment to oogle and compare.
5 days, 3 weeks and 4 1/2 months in the side by side def show the slow shift back down to “normal” or whatever that means. Strangely not a ton of change since 3 weeks pp except i lost my tan and realized i look better if i poke my ass out a bit. 💁🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
8 weeks pregnant vs now in the other side by side. Still softer than i was then. Still got a slight kangaroo pouch. You...
me n u working out late night, what’s ur first move?
me n u working out late night, what’s ur first move?
2022-02-08 01:50:24 +0000 UTC View Postwellll I’m back in the snow and cold. And i must say…HAPPILY..
wellll I’m back in the snow and cold. And i must say…HAPPILY. This is the only photo of me that exists from our weeklong trip bc, as many of you know, parenting (and what a cliche to admit it) is really a no days off, no time to pose situation.
I think I “relaxed” for about 36 minutes total but even that was consumed by whiplash. Give or take a few sour milk pina coladas the trip left me spinnin with 2 plane cancelations, 2 rebooks, 1 period stain from the 80s on a hotel fitted sheet, our one (and only) baby nurse / kid he...
here she is again, mom-after-dark confessionals It’s been ..
here she is again, mom-after-dark confessionals
It’s been nearly impossible to hold it together lately. Started a laundry list of the things bogging me down but then the list itself started bogging me down and I WANT OUTTA THE BOG. Long story short, moms (esp moms with 90% of the parenting load) don’t get a fucking break man. Everyday I’m spinnin the porcelain plates. 3am, 4am, 5am til I’m limping out at 8pm…SPINNIN. And I’m fucking dizzy. And i don’t wanna hold it together anymore. After dark I wanna put on some hoe...
everyone napping. Should i join them or make a workout video..
everyone napping. Should i join them or make a workout video in the TikTok leggings…🤷🏻♀️😇
2022-01-19 19:52:34 +0000 UTC View Postmom-after-dark confessionals two day oF blackout had me con..
mom-after-dark confessionals
two day oF blackout had me confused about what to do with my hands…
(missed you mean it ❤️)
didn’t know the hotel had a pool but we improvising 😎
didn’t know the hotel had a pool but we improvising 😎
2021-12-24 00:32:57 +0000 UTC View Post
