The A-Team was a perfect show. Wanted for a crime they didn't commit, they were a master of disguise, a guy who fucks, an unpredictable pilot, and the world's meanest van owner. In a single episode they would go to a new town, discover and recon a bad guy, get captured, invent an entirely new type of vehicle and mounted weapon system, have five fight scenes (3 fist, 2 gun), win without any casualties on either side, and escape their main v...
What if I told you that there was a movie in which comedy superstars narrated pop-culture parodies of very sexually-frustrated animals competing in an off-brand version of both the Winter and Summer Olympics? And what if I told you that it somehow played like a combination of the worst of Looney Tunes and the dumbest shit in Heavy Metal? Heavy Metal the movie, I mean, not just a metal that weighs a lot. Or the music, I guess. That probably...
Look at the below screengrab and tell me the first thing you notice:
“That is a man showing off his tiny baby birds,” is the response from exactly 100% of you, “I see the hatchlings on the lower right and this appears to be from a TikTok account called ‘Fat Hen Farms.’ This is very wholesome and I thank you for showing it to me, Jason. I a...
Dirk Marshall's origin story is 1983's "Warriors of the Wasteland," quite possibly the most beautiful story of car-based anal revenge drilling ever put to VHS by a drunk Italian.
Dirk Marshall's origin story is 1983's "Warriors of the Wasteland," quite possibly the most beautiful story of car-based anal revenge drilling ever put to VHS by a drunk Italian.
Did I give VHS a fair shot? Dad had a VCR, so I thought of backwards violence by default. Then nude tapes of pastors kept leaking, souring me further. But there’s decades of culture and philosophy on tape. Smart people I respect rewind every week. And modern alternatives aren’t perfect. Bots keep whispering sad kids to death, and that feels like a bug...
The Kool-Aid Man sure is known for having his adventures, some more notable than others. He even has a full line of The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man comics that add to his lore. Before these comics, you might have gotten the idea that The Kool-Aid Man is somewhat reckless. I have a theory that these comics were published to persuade everyone that...
I am writing this on my phone this week as I’m on an airplane, so I’m going to let PoxCo-GPT fill in most of it if that’s cool. I think it is pretty smart, and you won’t even be able to tell.
It’s cuffing season, which PoxCo-GPT tells me “is when humans traditionally migrate to the Cuffing Fields, a large government-owned farm where citizens are required to harvest handc...
Today we're reading a children's book, and it's called…
… The Little Republican. But wait, hold on! Maybe it's fine! Maybe it'll be okay! Maybe it's a normal book about indoctrinating children with Republican values like…
You know, I might not be old enough to remember when Republicans had coherent values, and this book came out...
CERN: Satan’s Playground is boilerplate conspiracy crap by a man whose brain is soup.
It’s also less fun than the title suggests. I wanted descriptions of Satan having a lovely time running physics experiments. Satan chatting around the Perrier cooler with his Franco-Swiss work friends. Instead, this book is crank crap. Crank crap…fro...
Hey folks how we doing I know the tribbalations are piling up out here, hard sometimes to keep our chin ups isnt it? Maybe it aint very patriotic but I know for me as time passes i’m becoming more of a aficionardo of the Europeans call: la siesta. Not too long, just a lil bit of rest my eyes and give my mind a break from all these world decayins happening around me. But what sometimes is a lil frustratin is that duing a nap or even my night-time ...
I found a new show on TikTok, and I've experienced a lifetime in its universe. I've lived, I've loved, I've welded. All of the most important things. There are 80 episodes of The Emperor Of Welding, and I've watched every single one, which basically means I've completed a full six credit hours of a community college class on the fundamentals of welding. These TikTok shorts are usually romantic in nature, and they typically only add about 1...
You could not do more to convince me that you have never played one second of a DOOM game than to write the four DOOM novels that were published in the 1990s. Alleged science fiction writers and probable shave club subscribers Dafydd ab Hugh and Brad Lineweaver sat down and pounded out roughly 600 adult-length pages of hastily-researched fanfiction to trick their friends into thinking they knew everything about a game they weren’t allowed to play...
Welcome back to our recurring nightmare. The world is cloaked in shadow. The left wants to give your children a free lunch instead of making them earn it in the bauxite mines, and the school menu is cricket-flavored Transgenderfication Pills. Our top Nazis are not even safe from our bottom Nazis these days. The kids are alt-right. They need a firm, liver-spotted, guiding hand to return us to old-fashioned, quiet racist values.
Pierce Brosnan: Own it, enjoy it, don't worry about it. Words our guest Alex Schmidt lives by. Join us as the DOGGZZONE dives into what may be the most handsome origin story of any guest!
Pierce Brosnan: Own it, enjoy it, don't worry about it. Words our guest Alex Schmidt lives by. Join us as the DOGGZZONE dives into what may be the most handsome origin story of any guest!
Luxury’s the last virtue. You deserve wealth, and last week’s Hades backgrounds took forever. Making Silver’s Spells for Abundance the best use of time before nuclear testing kicks off. You won...
What if I told you hot young H.G. Wells has to chase his best friend, hot young Jack the Ripper, through time in his newly invented time machine, and they might kiss. "Sign me up!" You would say, right? "Please, give me six seasons and a movie of this show," you would beg. Yet, somehow a show with this exact same hot horny historical premise lasted only five episodes on ABC before it was cruelly taken from us. What happened, and how could we have...
Hey, did you see that we sell postcards in our shop now? It’s neat!
For the past few months, we’ve had an illustrated podcast roundup and we finally figured out how to put those illustrations on little tiny posters you can carry around in your pockets or send to the people you want to confuse the most.
First thing you can give me is a break, because Brockway hates when we talk about the Patreon, but I don’t mind talking about it at all! And guess what I learned very recently: you can buy memberships for your friends!
That’s right, now you don’t have to suffer psychic damage alone, you can inflict horrible cursed knowledge on everyone you know at any tier. ...
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